Tuesday, July 04, 2006

I'm in love. And awe.

Un mesaj special cu ocazia zilei de 4 iulie. M-am distrat salbatic astazi pe site-ul Go Fug Yourself. Dupa cum bine stie orice fata care a patruns tainele sintagmelor gen "Bennifer", "tanorexia" sau "metrosexual", "fugly" este un termen care descrie ceva above and beyond ugly, adica, pardon my french, "fucking ugly". La Go Fug Yourself exista niste fete foarte istete, inarmate din plin cu sarcasm bine dozat si cu un bun simt which I can relate to (Opriti-ma cu romano-engleza asta, ma inghite de vie!! Sandra - o mana de ajutor! O sa creada lumea ca sunt o elitista pompoasa, si pro-Bush pe deasupra.). Buuun... Ce fac fetele astea acolo? Carcotesc! Carcotesc despre diversi care arata foarte, foarte rau desi ar putea arata foarte, foarte bine, DAR si recunosc cand respectivii au vreun "comeback from the land of fugliness". Va spun, e party pe site-ul asta, eu m-am amuzat copios. Mai ales cu aceasta minunatie de fug-chat apropos de "Jessica Fugson". Ma regasesc in micile lor rautati, recunosc. Fug away!

HEATHER: I wonder if we should finally do something with that Jessica Simpson dress that everyone's e-mailing us about. It is ugly.
JESSICA: I know. But, ugh. It feels like it's been covered.
HEATHER: Yeah, it's possible everything's already been said about it. Also, I'm still just really sick of her. I can see her beady little eyes through those sunglasses, and I can feel a headache coming on already.
JESSICA: I know. It's like I don't even have the energy to make fun of the dress because she makes me so very tired.
HEATHER: Sweet GOD, though, this is terrible. It's like if Salvador Dali painted a seascape that he thought existed somewhere in Dante's second ring of hell. It's beyond awful. It's not even flattering.
JESSICA: And the shoes. Usually these people can at least get the shoes right. It hurts me when they don't.
HEATHER: She looks rough. I feel like having no friends and being the big PR loser in her divorce war is kind of turning her into a kooky recluse.
JESSICA: It's about time. I've only been waiting, like, two years for her to retreat into her mansion and draw the shades.
HEATHER: Seriously, where did she get the idea that people in the outside world wanted to be exposed to that pattern? She's the lucky one; she's wearing shades. They protect.
JESSICA: Maybe Ken Paves told her it looked good. And then transferred a bunch of money to a Swiss bank account.
HEATHER: Maybe Adam Levine once told her that he gets horny at surrealist toga parties.
JESSICA: Or maybe Joe told her that if she didn't do something dramatic to get herself back in the public eye, she could be... replaced.
HEATHER: It worked. She is just a step away from Muumuu City in that travesty.
JESSICA: I do wonder if, now that everyone's more interested in Ashlee's nose and Nick and who he's rebounding with, she'll finally go all Sunset Boulevard on the world.
HEATHER: Haha. "I AM big. It's the tabloids that got small."
JESSICA: Right. With a turban! Oh my God, if she'd worn a turban with that...
HEATHER: Turban's are a washed-up diva's best friend.
UPDATE: Dupa inca ceva ore petrecute pe acest site, va rog din suflet sa cititi, tot de pe pagina cu surorile Fugson, urmatoarele articole absolut criminale: "Fuglee Simpson", "The sweetest Fug", si dupa asta, NEAPARAT "Fugly of the Month". Brilliant, I tell you, BRILLIANT!

Inchei cu "wish of the day": Happy Birthday, United States of the A! And may no movie apocalypses hit you in the following year... (like surprise-elections and Mr. B getting the chair again).


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